The festive season is often portrayed as a time of joy and togetherness, but for many, Christmas can bring a wave of overwhelm. Whether it’s the financial strain, navigating tricky family dynamics, or managing your emotions during a hectic period, the pressure can feel relentless.
Why Does Christmas Feel Overwhelming?
Christmas combines emotional, relational, and financial stressors, often amplifying feelings of pressure and expectation. Common triggers include:
- Financial Stress: Gifts, food, decorations, and travel can strain budgets.
- Relational Challenges: Family gatherings can highlight tensions or unresolved conflicts.
- Emotional Strain: The pressure to feel festive can clash with personal struggles.
- Overcommitment: Balancing social events, work deadlines, and personal responsibilities.
Top Tips for Managing Financial Overwhelm
1. Set a Realistic Budget
- Identify what you can comfortably spend and stick to it.
- Use tools to track your finances
- 48 Christmas MoneySaving tips – MoneySavingExpert
2. Embrace Meaningful Giving
- Focus on thoughtful, low-cost or handmade gifts. A heartfelt letter or shared experience often means more than expensive presents.
- Suggest a Secret Santa or spending limit for family gift exchanges.
3. Plan Ahead for Next Year
- Consider opening a Christmas savings account in January to spread the cost over the year.
Relational Stress: Navigating Family Dynamics
4. Practice Healthy Boundaries
- Be clear about what you can and cannot do.
- Use assertive communication techniques: “I feel [emotion] when [situation]. I need [boundary].”
- Resources like Relate can help with communication strategies.
5. Prepare for Difficult Conversations
- Use DBT’s DEAR MAN framework
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- Describe the current situation (if necessary). Stick to the facts. Tell the person exactly what you are reacting to.
- Express your feelings and opinions about the situation. Don’t assume that the other person knows how you feel.
- Assert yourself by asking for what you want or saying “No” clearly. Do not assume that others will figure out what you want. Remember that others cannot read your mind.
- Reinforce (reward) the person ahead of time (so to speak) by explaining positive effects of getting what you want or need. If necessary, also clarify the negative consequences of not getting what you want or need.
- Mindful keep your focus on your goals. Maintain your position. Don’t be distracted. Don’t get off the topic. Speak like a “Broken record.” Keep asking for what you want. Or say “No” and express your opinion over and over and over. Just keep replaying the same thing again and again. Ignore attacks. If the other person attacks, threatens, or tries to change the subject, ignore the threats, comments, or attempts to divert you. Do not respond to attacks. Ignore distractions. Just keep making your point.
- Appear confident, effective, and competent. Use a confident voice tone and physical manner; make good eye contact. No stammering, whispering, staring at the floor, retreating.
- Negotiate be willing to give to get. Offer and ask for other solutions to the problem. Reduce your request. Say no, but offer to do something else or to solve the problem another way. Focus on what will work.
- Plan scripts for anticipated conflicts to stay grounded.
6. Allow for Imperfection
- Family gatherings don’t have to be perfect. Reframe expectations by focusing on connection over presentation.
Managing Emotional Regulation During the Festive Season
7. Use Mindfulness to Stay Present
- Engage in grounding exercises, such as the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: Identify 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste.
- Apps like Headspace or Calm offer guided meditations.
8. Label Your Emotions
- From CBT: Name the emotion you’re experiencing and validate it. For example: “I feel anxious because I want everyone to have a good time.”
- Recognising emotions can reduce their intensity.
9. Create a Holiday Self-Care Plan
- Schedule breaks, walks, or quiet time.
- Focus on “small wins” each day: ticking off one manageable task or enjoying a brief moment of calm.
Somatic Practices for Nervous System Regulation
10. Breathwork for Instant Calm
- Try box breathing: Inhale for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, exhale for 4 counts, and hold for 4 counts.
- This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, calming the fight-or-flight response.
11. Use Movement to Release Stress
- Gentle yoga, stretching, or a brisk walk can help your body process and release pent-up tension.
- Check out free online classes on Yoga with Adriene.
12. Ground Through Touch
- Place your hands over your heart or hug yourself. This can soothe the nervous system and promote feelings of safety.
Coaching Tips for Overcoming Overcommitment
13. Prioritise Your Values
- Ask yourself: What truly matters this Christmas? Spend your time and energy on activities aligned with your values.
14. Learn to Say No
- Saying no is a skill. Frame it positively: “I’d love to help, but I can’t this time.”
- Remember, every yes to something is a no to something else—choose wisely.
15. Delegate Where Possible
- Share responsibilities with family or friends. This can lighten your load and foster collaboration.
Mindful Festivities: Finding Joy Amidst the Chaos
16. Simplify Your Celebrations
- Let go of the need to do everything. Focus on traditions and activities that bring genuine joy.
- For example, if cooking a big meal feels overwhelming, consider a simpler menu or a potluck-style gathering.
17. Practise Gratitude
- Take a moment each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for. Research shows gratitude can shift your focus from stress to positivity.
- Journaling or sharing gratitude around the dinner table can be a powerful practice.
18. Savour the Moments
- When opening gifts or enjoying a meal, pause to take in the sights, sounds, and smells. Mindfulness helps anchor you to the present, reducing feelings of overwhelm.
Final Thoughts
Christmas doesn’t have to be overwhelming. By prioritising what matters most, setting boundaries, and using the techniques shared here, you can create a more balanced, joyful festive season. Remember, the greatest gift you can give yourself and others is presence—not perfection.
If you’re struggling with feelings of overwhelm, don’t hesitate to reach out to a professional coach, therapist, or support organisation. You deserve to enjoy the holidays on your terms.
Each Coaching Psychology relationship I have is unique and tailored to your specific needs, goals, and circumstances. As a Coaching Psychologist I spend time preparing for sessions, reflecting on previous sessions and exploring how I may work with you at every stage of our Coaching Psychology journey together.
For every person I work with, I will adapt my methods, tools, and techniques based on your personality, strengths, challenges, and aspirations. The flexibility of Coaching Psychology ensures that it meets the diverse needs of clients rather than following a rigid, one-size-fits-all approach.
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Emma Mudge
Co-founder and Coaching Psychologist
BSc (Hons), PGCert, PGDip, MSt
Member of the British Psychological Society
& Division of Coaching Psychology – GMBPsS
EmPower You Psychological Services